Ellie S. Grossman
BlogHer13: The Best Conference I’ve Never Been To
Thousands of bloggers from across the U.S. flocked to BlogHer13 in Chicago.
Last weekend, I went to my first BlogHer. Sort of.
I planned a last minute trip to Chicago with two of my Listen To Your Mother (LTYM) St. Louis cohorts, Naomi Francis (Master Events) and Laura Edward Ray (Brain Dead in the Burbs), and coincidentally we stayed at the same hotel as the word’s largest social media conference. It’s karma, says Laura.
Having been to these types of ginormous networking conventions before (Book Expo America in NY), I knew it would demand a lot of emotional and physical energy and stamina (not to mention many wardrobe changes). The truth is, since I was still jet lag from a recent 10-day trip to Israel, I wasn’t sure if I would be up to it. Besides, our goal was to do a little sightseeing in Chi-Town over the weekend and join the rest of the LTYM directors/producers for Sunday brunch at Yolk. At least we would finally get to meet Ann Imig, founder and national director of LTYM, and many of the other women we bonded with, virtually, this past year to create a national Mother’s Day movement. By the way, it made my heart swell with pride to see all LTYM names listed as VOTY speakers, panelists, and even fashionistas at BlogHer.
JWRP Trip to Israel: The Mitzvah of Making Challah
Sari & I make our own challahs.
One of the MANY highlights of my recent JWRP experience was celebrating my first Shabbat in Israel. The best part—making challah in the same room, at the same time, with 200 other wannabe balaboostas who dispel the theory that too many cooks in the kitchen spoil the soup. I felt like I was on the set of Food Network as I watched Rebbetzin Raizy work her magic on the big screen and effortlessly twist the soft dough into shapes of a dove, butterfly, six-strand loaf, napkin rings, a linked loop round challah, and other creations that would make Martha Stuart envious and want to convert.
JWRP Trip to Israel: Lesson on Love & Marriage
Two weeks ago, when I stepped off the plane at St. Louis Lambert Airport on a Wednesday afternoon, my husband Scott didn’t know what to expect, other than I would be a little jet lagged and probably tired of drinking iced coffee and shopping (impossible). He knew I did a lot of praying, learning, sightseeing, female bonding, and falafel eating, but how would my trip change me as a wife, a mother, and a woman?
- Now that I’ve been on a spiritual journey to my Jewish homeland, would I make my family go to temple more often than on the high holidays?
- Would I start keeping kosher?
- Would I dress more modestly, and practice Tzniut, by wearing a fashionable headscarf? (No more bad hair days, it’s tempting).
- Would my Hebrew vocabulary expand beyond “Shalom†and “Boker Tov†and “Toda Raba?â€
- Would I want to sell our two-story house in the burbs and live on a kibbutz?
- Would I slave in the kitchen and cook Jewish delicacies, such as matzo ball soup, freshly baked challah, and homemade ruggalah every single Shabbat? (He wishes).
The truth is, I have changed, especially when it comes to my attitude and actions towards my husband. The thing is, he doesn’t even know I’m making a conscious effort to be nicer, more appreciative, and calmer about petty things that used to bother me. Shhh, it’s a little secret between you and me, and besides, he never reads my blog anyway.
Let’s face it. If I were HALF as sweet to my spouse as I am my toy poodle Luci, my marriage would feel like a honeymoon after almost 20 years. Instead, like many marriages, our lives get busy over the years and our priorities shift from each other to our children. My biggest fear is that by the time we become empty nesters, we won’t even know each other anymore. Scary.
JWRP Trip To Israel: What I Learned
St. Louis “Soul Sisters” on top of the Aish HaTorah building overlooking the Old City in Jerusalem.
My heart and my head are full, and it’s not from all the hummus and falafel that I ate while I was in Israel last week. It’s from all the sights, sounds, tastes, and energy that I indulged in while I was on my trip with 12 amazing St. Louis moms through the Jewish Women’s Renaissance Project (JWRP). We all had different purposes for being there, and we all came home feeling inspired and connected, not only to each other but our Jewish homeland and ancestors. It’s not like I walked off the plane at St. Louis Lambert Airport wearing a head scarf because I suddenly became more religious and modest (although I certainly understand and admire the practice of Tzniut much better), but I did change, at least internally.
As a writer, I carried my pad of paper with me everywhere and took meticulous notes about everything I was experiencing, including missing our flight to Israel, eating salmon and sorbet at Deck’s, learning about the “Kabbalah of Love†from Lori, kayaking on the Jordan River, getting locked in the mikveh bathroom in Tzfat, tucking prayers inside the Western Wall, shopping for hamsa necklaces, meeting Yossi and the children at Shalva, feeling hollow and sorrowful for all the suffering depicted at Yad Vashem, (I scribbled thoughts in the dark on the back of my nametag because I left my notebook on the bus), and learning to braid challah into the shape of a flower.
Watch LTYM on YouTube!
What’s the #1 fear of most people? Public speaking. What’s the #2 fear? Watching themselves speaking. OKay, so now that I got that out of the way, I’m actually very excited to share with you our entire LTYM St. Louis playlist, now live on our YouTube channel. In fact, you can watch shows from all 24 cities across the nation, from Chicago to Washington, DC. That’s about 350 speakers, who all have their own stories to tell.
Of course, it’s impossible to capture the energy in the room that day. St. Louis was the only city to have two performances, a morning and afternoon, and, believe it or not, we were so pumped up that we felt like we could have done it again if our Spanx were not so damn uncomfortable.
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JWRP Trip To Israel: Day 1 (Our Arrival)
A dozen St. Louis Jewish moms are on a mission. Last Sunday, we left the kids and hubbies behind and headed to Israel through the Jewish Women’s Renaissance Project (JWRP). This mission is called “Transform and Grow” or TAG, which is kind of like Birthright for moms. (We only had to pay airfare). I’ve been asked to blog about my experiences and what I’ve learned so far, which would be easy to to do if I wasn’t having so much fun, staying up way too late, and trying to overload my brain with practical lessons from the Torah that have the potential to change the world–one mom, one family, one community, at a time.
St. Louis is one of 15 cities on this summer trip, which is about 200 moms. This year, JWRP will send about 1,200 women to Israel. We come from all over the world, and yet we have the same home. Israel.
Remember, it’s the journey, not the destination, and so our adventure begins in the airport. Let’s just say it took us 26 hours to get here.
Our group at St. Louis airport with Rabbi Yosef David and Rabbi Shmuel Greenwald of Aish St. Louis.
St. Louis might be a few days behind in our blogging, probably because we’re still recovering from our crazy arrival. But that doesn’t mean the 12 of us aren’t having the time of our lives and trying to process everything, from singing Shabbat songs at the Western Wall and kayaking in the Jordan River to shopping for jewelry in the Old City of Jerusalem and and talking with real Israeli soldiers who walk around with M4 weapons like American kids do their iPhones. I’ve actually been in Israel six days already, even though I have no clue what day it is, and for the life of me I still can’t figure out how to calculate a shekel or get tired of eating falafel pitas.
Anyway, as we all know, it’s the journey, not the destination, and this especially rings true for our St. Louis group because it took us 26 hours to get here. Our adventure began on June 30th when our airplane plane couldn’t land in New York because of a major rainstorm. We circled above the clouds for hours until we were eventually forced to refuel in Wash DC. It gets better (or worse), but I’m not “complaining.â€Â Our plane encountered a mechanical problem while still on the ground, and we were forced to sit on the runway another hour or so and sweat in our seatbelts until the air conditioner was fixed.
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Countdown to Israel Trip Begins
In less than one week, I will embark on a journey of my lifetime. As one of 10 St. Louis moms selected to visit Israel with the T.A.G. (Transform and Grow) Mission sponsored by the Jewish Women’s Renaissance Project and coordinated through Aish HaTorah of Greater St. Louis, I’m so excited to see, taste, and feel the holy land for the first time. We will join other moms from all over the world who are coming together to have an uninhibited wonderful adventure and focus on ourselves for a change, without the kids. Most importantly, we will discover  what it truly means to be a Jew so that when we return home, after a nine-day, jam-packed adventure that includes everything from kayaking on the Jordan River and floating in Dead Sea to riding a camel and climbing the majestic Masada at dawn, we will be inspired to make a change. Even though that change will be different for all of us, we all want the same thing, to continue learning about Judaism and share our joy and experiences with our family and children.
Our St. Louis group wearing red hats so we don’t lose each other!
Thanks to our group leaders Chana Greenwald and Peggy Umansky, who know Israel like the back of their hand, (Chana lived in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv for many years, and this is Peggy’s fifth visit to Israel), we know exactly how to prepare ourselves, mentally, physically, spiritually. The neat thing is that some of us already know each other, either as friends or acquaintances, while others have met for the first time. But after our trip, we will go through a transformation to become like sisters. In fact, Ellen made us these beautiful chan luu bracelets so that “we are connected already.”
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LTYM St. Louis Wrap Up: Dayenu
LTYM St. Louis program.
It’s hard to come up with the words to adequately describe my experience with Listen To Your Mother (LTYM), and considering I’m a professional writer, that’s not good. So in times of writer’s block I turn to my Jewish ancestors who express their emotions in Hebrew so succinctly.
If I had to summarize LTYM St. Louis in one word, it would be Dayenu, which translates to “it would have been enough” or “it would have sufficed.” I never thought I would use Dayenu other than at Passover when we sing the festive song by the same name to describe our appreciation of the abundant gifts that God gave us when we escaped slavery.
However,  Dayenu captures my feelings about LTYM because it exceeded my expectations in so many ways. I’m truly grateful for everything I learned and everyone I met. And for that I say, Dayenu.
Celebrate Motherhood The Month of May
What’s better than Mother’s Day? How about Mother’s Month? Seriously, I’m considering petitioning Hallmark to officially expand this national holiday for the entire month of May. Who’s with me?
St. Louis women can celebrate motherhood with a variety of exciting events and activities that stretch beyond that single Sunday in May.
Mark your calendars and get ready for some serious fun:
Mama-palooza
Thursday, May 2, 7-9 p.m.
 The Crescent in Clayton, 155 Carondelet Plaza
The month of May kicks off with Mama-Palooza, featuring former St. Louisan Melissa Gerststein, co-founder of The Moms, and the hilarious  New York Times bestselling author Jill Smokler, “Scary Mommy†blogger, who is stopping here on her whirlwind book tour of her newest release, “Motherhood Comes Naturally (and other vicious lies).â€
Leave it to the National Council of Jewish Women (NCJW) to host a Girl’s Night Out that brings us together for nibbles and giggles, while raising money to help local children. You’re invited to nosh on drinks and appetizers, win prizes, and laugh at the parenting sagas of these two famous funny ladies, while benefiting NCJW’s Back-to-School Store, which provides school supplies and new clothing to 4,000 elementary and middle schoolers in eight area public schools and the Harvey Kornblum Jewish Food Pantry.
RSVP:  www.ncjwstl.org or call 314-993-5181.
Spa for The Soul
Sunday, May 5, 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m
The Chesterfield Art Center, 444 Chesterfield Center, Suite 130
 
The Jewish Women’s Chai Circle hosts the second annual Spa for the Soul, featuring the ultimate day of pampering. Guests will enjoy mini mani-pedis, massages, health and beauty demos, crafts, raffles, a delicious kosher brunch, and so much more. The highlight of the event is a laughter therapy workshop led by stand-up comedian and actress Esther Rachel Russell, who will show us why laughter is the best medicine. Russell began her improvisational comedy career at the famous Groundlings Theater in Los Angeles, where she wrote and performed in comedy sketches with the “Saturday Night Live†comedy stars.
Founder and artistic director of the all-female comedy improve troupe, “Woman Gone Mad,†Russell has performed in the acclaimed off Broadway comedy, “A Match made in Manhattan-The Interactive Jewish Wedding.”
See you at the spa, and get ready to feel beautiful inside and out.
RSVP: Â www.ChabadofChesterfield.com/spa or call 636 778 4000.
Listen To Your Mother
Saturday, May 11, Showtimes 10 a.m. and 2 p.m.
St. Luke’s Institute for Health Education

232 South Woods Mill Road
This special Mother’s Day celebration is not to be missed, and I’m not just saying that because I’m co-producing/directing the inaugural show in St. Louis. Listen To Your Mother St. Louis, which is held on the Saturday before Mother’s Day, is part of a national series of live readings that features some of our area’s most talented writers and bloggers, as well as everyday people who have an amazing story to share. Proudly, St. Louis is one of 24 cities across the country to host a production that is produced, directed, and performed by local communities for local communities.
Fifty percent of our ticket sales benefit Connections to Success (CtS), a local nonprofit organization that helps break the cycle of poverty through hope, resources, and a plan. CtS will be at the show with their Mystique Boutique, a mobile upscale shop that sells designer clothing and accessories to raise money for their programs.
I promise, you will laugh, you will cry, you will be transformed by this national movement that gives moms a microphone. Our show also features refreshments, live jazz music, prizes, shopping, and more surprises. Plus, Virginia Kerr, of Great Day St. Louis, is our emcee, so you don’t want to miss out. Bring your family and friends, and start a new Mother’s Day tradition in St Louis.
RSVP: go to www.listentoyourmothershow.com/stlouis or send me a note.
Also worth mentioning…Spring is in the air, and the Lou has plenty of outdoor fun, too. For example:
Laumeier Art Fair is a nationally acclaimed fine art and craft fair at Laumeier Sculpture Park, one of the world’s premier open-air museums. This popular annual event, which is held on Mother’s Day weekend, features creative and original works of art from 150 artists from across the country, not to mention food, drink, and musical entertainment.
For an old-fashioned good time with your family, visit Eckert’s and enjoy strawberry picking, wagon and pony rides, live entertainment,  and, of course, festival foods like funnel cakes and frozen custard.
If beer is your choice of beverage, the St. Louis Microfest is for you. This premiere event offers samples of international and craft beers, live music, silent auction, and plenty of food to make you thirsty for a cold brew. Profits benefit Lift For Life Gym, which provides supervised and safe activities for children eight to 18 years old, five evenings a week, all free of charge.
Got a green thumb? Shaw Nature Reserve and several nurseries from throughout the area will offer hundreds of varieties of annual and perennial wildflowers, ferns, trees and shrubs to use in home landscaping and to attract wildlife. The sale will feature the showiest and hardiest native plants for sun or shade, including purple coneflower, butterfly milkweed, blazing star, dwarf crested iris, cardinal flower, compass plant, wild phlox, ostrich fern, bottle-brush buckeye, fringe tree and short-leaf pine.
And for all us dog lovers, the annual Bark in the Park promises a day of fun for both dogs and their owners. As the biggest fundraiser of the year for the Humane Society of Missouri, this annual festival features a one-mile pet walk and 5K run in Forest Park. After you work up a sweat, enjoy a full day of entertainment and favorite foods like funnel cakes, kettle corn and fresh squeezed lemonade.
Enjoy your Mother’s Day Month! You deserve it!
Spring Is In The Air!
Spring is in the air and so are allergies. But did you know that it’s a mitzvah to say a blessing the first time you see a tree bloom in the spring?
“Baruch Atah Adonai
Eleheinu Melec ha’olam,
Shevara vo b’riyot tovot v’ilanot tovim
L’hanot bahem b’nei adam.
Thank you, God, for creating beautiful creatures and goodly trees, so we may enjoy them.
Here’s a photo in my backyard of my cherry tree with a bird’s nest snuggled inside the branches.
Maybe springtime is God’s reward to us for suffering through a long, cold winter. The Jewish people have blessings for just about everything. When we see a glowing sunset, a majestic mountain, or even when we hear the roar of thunder and a powerful crack of lighting, we are reminded of God’s creative power (and crazy St. Louis weather). We say:
Barach Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha’olam
Oseh ma’aseh v’reishit.
Thank you, God, for the world You have created. Help us to protect and preserve it for future generations.
And when we escape danger or recover from illness, we are grateful, and say:
 Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha’olam, sheg’malani kol tov.
Thank you, God, for Your comfort in my time of fear and Your kindness in my time of need.
And, at all times, we say this blessing for peace:
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Oseh Shalom bimromov,
Hu ya’aseh shalom aleinu,
V’al kol Yisra’el, v’imru amen.
Grant us peace, Oh God.
Peace among the countries of the world.
Peace with our neighbors and friends.
Peace for our home and our family.
Peace with ourselves.
Amen.
