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Columns

Sounds of the Shofar: God’s Wake-Up Call to Parents

The memorable sound of the shofar is a highlight of Rosh Hashanah, especially for children who wait patiently through the songs and prayers of the service. As a young girl growing up in a reformed temple, the sharp, loud sound of the ancient ram’s horn was my signal. It told me that the service was almost over, which meant that I finally could eat bobka and change out of my itchy dress. Today, I still look forward to hearing the first blast of tekiah, but for a much different reason. Now that I have children of my own, the unique sounds of the shofar represent a new beginning, not an end, to something special. Continue reading

The Forbidden Fruit Sweetens Rosh Hashanah

With a year-round cycle of major and minor holidays, Jewish people have plenty of opportunities to count their blessings and be thankful. After all, we’re lucky enough to celebrate at least one festive occasion in every season, including Rosh Hashana in the fall, Chanukah in the winter, Passover in the Spring, and Tu B’Av (like a Jewish Valentine’s Day) in the summer. Plus, with all the religious traditions and rituals in between, from Sukkot to Shavuot, we always have a holy excuse to go off our diets. That’s right, the symbolic Jewish calendar is filled with reasons to party and nosh on foods that are as mouthwatering as they are meaningful. Continue reading

Gift Giving Rule for Husbands: Nothing Practical, Please

If it’s a mitzvah for a Jew to marry, then it’s an even greater deed for a wife to put up with her husband’s annoying habits. One of my top 10 complaints about my spouse Scott is his inability to read my mind, especially when it comes to knowing what kind of gift truly makes me happy. And with the Jewish New Year around the corner, I figure that now is the perfect time to make a resolution to do something about it. Continue reading

Good Character, or Middot, Makes the Grade

Academic success is driven into the brains of our children before they tinkle in their first diaper. Although there’s no concrete scientific evidence that education begins in the womb, a hormonal pregnant woman will do just about anything to give her growing fetus the best start in life. It’s not unheard of for an expectant mom to play Mozart to her swollen belly. The hope is that exposure to classical music will increase the likelihood of giving birth to a musical protégé who can play Chopsticks and suck on a pacifier all at the same time.

When a parent brings the bundle of joy home from the hospital, the sleepy newborn is greeted with more black and white abstract images than a Rorschach inkblot test at a psychiatrist’s office. Continue reading

Israeli War Hits Close to Home; Parents Help Children Cope

The morning starts out innocent enough. Like every other school day, Sari brushes her sun-streaked curls before I twirl her soft hair in a ponytail. Now a second grader, Sari checks her homework inside her new pink camouflage backpack, while I whip up a strawberry yogurt smoothie in the blender for us to share at breakfast. I join Sari at the kitchen table and watch her use one finger to carefully spread thick cream cheese on a blueberry bagel. Then, out of nowhere, she asks me, “Has Osama Bin Laden been caught yet?” Continue reading

Celebrate Another High Holiday: Back to School

For many parents, the highest of high holidays occurs around the end of August when their kids go back to school. For me, this time of year truly kicks off my Days of Awe when I practice the three R’s: reflect, repent, and revise. Continue reading

Being Jewish Usually Means Dressing the Part

As I struggle everyday to pick my battles with my children, I usually surrender in the wardrobe war. In fact, I let my 11-year-old son Jack and seven-year-old daughter Sari wear what they want for the most part. Jack’s usual attire consists of a Hanes undershirt and athletic shorts. When he dresses formal, he hangs a shark’s tooth around his neck. Sari, on the other hand, showcases more outfits than my fat and skinny clothes combined. Still, she grabs the same striped pink tank top and ruffled skirt every time. Whenever I suggest that she wear something different, she looks at me like I’m as outdated as a taffeta prom gown. Continue reading

Giving Mom Space Brings Family Closer Together

Parenting experts profess that the secret to raising happy, well-adjusted kids is for married couples to make their relationship a priority. (Single parents have their own challenges). The traditional Jewish ideal of shelom bayit backs up the idea that a marriage based on mutual love and respect is the foundation for creating a spiritually enriching home for your children.

In other words, hire a babysitter or bribe the grandparents to give you and your spouse a break from the young ones now and then. Whether you catch a movie, peddle your bikes in the park, or recover the lost art of conversation, spouses need to reconnect with each other in order to be better parents.

In all honesty, I admire couples who actually stick to their commitment to spend time together, even when their children’s itineraries drag them in opposite directions sometimes. And until I figure out how to actually do that, I suggest another way for moms to maintain domestic bliss. Continue reading

Food for Thought: Make the Most of Your Moment

With the kitchen table as my laboratory, I like to experiment with my husband and children. Usually the scientific study involves a new recipe that I want to try on my family before I serve anything edible to a “real” guest. No matter how many times I attempt to make marinated flank steak, the meat is never edible and usually too tough to chew. On the other hand, whenever I get lucky and concoct something particularly tasty, such as a new twist on corn flake chicken, I can’t seem to duplicate the meal the same way again. This drives my taste testers crazy.
I have other tricks up my apron as well. My son Jack, a very picky eater, often prefers the school cafeteria food rather than my own cooking. So when I bake something like three-cheese lasagna, I tell him that I got the recipe from the Rockwood School District. That way, he at least tries the cheesy noodles before he trades in his plate for another peanut butter tortilla.
I find that the kitchen table, which I refer to as my “altar” in a previous column, is also a great place to wet my family’s appetite for something other than tuna noodle casserole. In fact, my goal is to feed their hunger for knowledge whenever possible, or at least get my kids to think about something more significant than the computer game Backyard Baseball. I had the perfect opportunity to serve some food for thought the other day. As I read my parenting bible, Wendy Mogel’s “The Blessing of a Skinned Knee,” I learn about a common question that rabbis ask their students, and that is, “What is the most important moment in Jewish history?” Hint: It’s kind of a trick question, but the answer is so simple. I’m so intrigued that I can’t wait to give my family the same test.
To reward my family in advance for their participation, I toss another handful of seasoned croutons in the Italian salad. Anything crunchy seems to always lift everyone’s spirits. Here goes the conversation:
Me: “I have an interesting question that I want each one of you to give some thought, and then tell me your honest answer while we sit here together and enjoy this delicious mostaccioli.”
Jack: “Uh oh. Mom must be writing another story because she’s getting weird again.”
Me: “The question is: “What is the most important moment in Jewish history?”
Everyone stops chewing for awhile and digests what I just asked them. Finally, my son offers the first guess.
Jack: “The most important moment in Jewish history is when Israel became a state.”
Sari: “When the Jewish people got Shabbat.”
Scott: “When God parted the Red Sea. (Now pass the Parmesan cheese please).”
Grandma Char: “When God gave Moses the Ten Commandments.”
Me: “According to the rabbi, the answer is: THIS is the most important moment in Jewish history.”
At first, there’s silence. Everyone looks confused. Then my daughter speaks up.
Sari: “I don’t get it. How can having dinner right now be the most important moment in Jewish history?
Me: “The rabbi means that being together in this moment is all that counts right now. And that whatever happened yesterday or whatever activity is scheduled for tomorrow is not important today. Because all we have is this moment.”
Sari: “What’s for dessert?”

“Mishegas of Motherhood” is the creation of Ellie S. Grossman, a St. Louis freelance writer and stay-at-home-mom who never stays home. Her stories are inspired by the real life of her family, including her two children, toy poodle named Luci, and her husband, but not necessarily in that order. Feel free to send any comments, prayers or recipes tow ellie@mishegasofmotherhood.com.

It’s a Dog’s Life for Many Moms

Every mother should own a dog, even if her child is allergic and has to sleep in a tent in the backyard. (I’m referring to the kid, of course, and not the canine living outdoors). If a mother’s love has no boundaries, then her need to nurture extends to the four-legged kind as well. My toy poodle Luci is an integral part of my family—more so than some of my blood relatives—and she poses for all of our holiday cards. Weighing less than a gallon milk jug, my fluffy apricot pup provides the kind of comfort, companionship and unconditional love that no one else comes close to. I can’t remember the last time my husband licked my face or my kids brought me the newspaper without expecting an allowance in return. Continue reading